Loved
by DYlogger
Summary: "Why woud you do this to us, Dudley?  We love you. We've always loved you."  AU, abused!Dudley.  High T rating.


**Loved  
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**By: DYlogger**

**_Disclaimer: I hate these disclaimers. They remind me of how little things I have the right to._**

**A/N: Inspired by the flash game 'Loved', by Alexander Ocias. [www. alexanderocias. com/ loved. php]**

**A/N (2): This is unbeta'd (though I did look over it myself) and contains non-graphic descriptions of child abuse. It's also Dudley-centric, and written in honour of Dudley Redeemed comm over on LJ. (I would have submitted this, but Dudley technically isn't redeemed here as he doesn't really _need _to be redeemed...)**

**Italicized quotations are intentional.  
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><p><span>Prelude<span>

A knock was heard at the door of 4 Privet Drive, Little Whinging, Surrey. There was no one standing there, but a baby wrapped in a blanket was sleeping peacefully in a basket. A note was taped to the top of the blanket.

Petunia Dursley grabbed the note off of the baby, reading it. When Vernon came over, with Dudley in his arms, he asked what was going on.

_Somebody wants us to take this kid. Harry Potter_, said Petunia.

Vernon snorted. _Freaks, the lot of them_. Petunia scrunched up the note and threw it in the nearest wastebasket.

The door slammed on the still sleeping child. Meanwhile the youngest Dursley managed to distangle himself from his father's arms and watch the boy through the cat flap.

* * *

><p>Dudley was almost three when Vernon went out and got drunk after two years of sobriety. He came home pissed and started beating the hell out of his son when he heard his hungry cries.<p>

_Daddy_, Dudley said, _what did I do wrong?_

_Nothing_, Vernon replied stonily. _Sorry, Dudders. It was an accident. But at least it's one step in getting you to become a man._

Over the next month, Dudley ate. He ate and he grew and got new toys because that was how Vernon apologized for every time he came home drunk. Then, one day, Vernon came back sober and stopped picking on Dudley altogether. Someone with unruly black hair, deep green eyes, and a distinguishing scar on his forehead in the shape of a lightning bolt.

_Who are you?_

_I'm your cousin. I've always been here._

_You're right. I wonder why I didn't notice you until now._

* * *

><p>When Dudley turned three, Vernon stopped with Harry's beatings.<p>

Two days after his birthday (he'd gotten twenty-nine gifts from various family members, his cousin excluded), Dudley caught Petunia quitely chastising her husband. _Vernon, you can't do this anymore! I'm happy you've stopped drinking, but you can't hit our son as an alternative._

His mother was wrong; Vernon never laid a finger on Dudley; he always abused Harry. However, Vernon did take his wife's words to heart and instead of beating the boy, he would often lock him into the cupboard under the stairs with no food instead while he and Petunia would overfeed Dudley to torment their nephew.

Unbeknownst to his parents, Dudley would sneak Harry food in his cupboard. His parents were often in sight range of that, but they were obtuse and never saw this exchange.

* * *

><p>Dudley's kindness to Harry stopped just before he started school. He was being coddled by his mum when the subject of Harry came up.<p>

_Mummy, why does Daddy hate Harry so much?_

Petunia raised her eyebrow. _Harry?_

Dudley nodded. _Yeah. Harry._

Petunia scowled, but kept cuddling her son in her arms. _Don't associate yourself with that kind of behaviour, Dudley. If you must have a friend like that, keep it a secret. You don't want to be a freak, do you?_

_No,_ said Dudley. _I guess I'll stop being nice to him_, he sighed resignedly, repeating her words. _I don't want to be a freak, after all_.

* * *

><p>At school, his friends would refuse to help him beat up Harry, who remained silent the whole time. Nobody noticed the silent ones, Dudley noticed, which made it all that easier to finish the job on Harry that Vernon had started. He and his new friends- Piers and Malcom, who also lived in Little Whinging- would often kick around a ragdoll in the classroom, which Dudley used as practice for Harry.<p>

_Dudley_, Harry asked one day, _Why do you hate me now?_

Dudley simply answered with a _Freak_ before walking away.

Dudley and Harry grew up; Harry an outcast noticed by none and Dudley a bully feared by all. Even his best friends.

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><p>At eleven, Dudley was accepted into the Smeltings School for Boys. Soon after, Harry was accepted into the Hogwarts School of Wizardry and Witchcraft. Petunia and Vernon refused to bring up the subject of the wizard, and Dudley followed suit, not wanting to be freaky like his cousin.<p>

At least Dudley knew why Harry was a freak now.

Both Dudley and Harry chose to stay at their respective schools all year long, He really didn't care as long as Harry went back to Privet Drive when Dudley did; it wasn't like he needed his cousin to divert Vernon's negative attention away from him in Smeltings.

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><p>When Dudley was fourteen, he took up boxing. Petunia wasn't happy that her son was taking up such a <em>rough<em> sport, but he did need a way to defend himself against his cousin should he need it. Since Harry had started going to that freak school of his and came back happier, Petunia and Vernon would rail on him extra hard.

Not that _he_ would need it, of course. It wasn't like _he _was scared of Harry. After all, Harry was the one that the entire household would abuse; with Vernon locking the boy in his new (old) bedroom, Petunia depriving him of food, and Dudley physically abusing him.

Because, after all, if he didn't follow what his parents did, he would turn out a weakling, just like his cousin.

And he didn't want that.

* * *

><p>Three years later, Harry came back scarred. Not physically scarred (okay, also physically scarred), but emotionally scarred. He was scarred before, but Dudley just didn't see it until then. Before, he would mercilessly tease the boy about whatever caused those scars, but now, his jibes were merely halfhearted attempts to keep up the tradition of making fun of Harry.<p>

One day, they were walking through a secluded part of the neighbourhood when Dudley suddenly felt a chill fall around him.

_Shit_, said Harry, suddenly pulling out a long, brown stick.

_Put that away!_ yelped Dudley. Instead, Harry just thrust a bar of chocolate at Dudley.

_Eat that_, he ordered. But before he could take a bite into the bar, he was plagued with flashbacks of memories. Dudley, constantly eating to make the pain of seclusion go away. Dudley, constantly hiding in the cupboard under the stairs. Dudley, being forced to sleep in that puny bedroom with a padlock and barred windows as punishment once he outgrew the cupboard. Dudley, overhearing his mother telling his father to stop with the corporal punishment. Dudley, not Harry.

Dudley gasped and came back to earth. The chill was gone and the chocolate in his hand was gone. Harry's wand was put away and Harry was plopped on the hard cement, eyes full of despair.

_What happened there?_ Dudley wanted to ask. Instead, Dudley just promised his cousin that he would get him out of his household before the two of them walked home.

The next day, Dudley called child protection services.

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><p><em>Why would you do this to us, Dudley?<em> asked Petunia in a whisper. _We love you. We've always loved you_.

The guy from child protection services inspected the house and determined that yes, indeed, there was a child being mistreated in that home. _Where is this 'Harry Potter', Mr. Dursley?_ he asked Dudley. _Is he out today?_

Vernon gasped. _Harry Potter!_ He turned to Dudley. _How do you know about that freak of a boy?_

_Ah, so he does live here?_ said the CPS guy.

_No_, butted in Petunia fearfully. _Someone left a baby boy on our doorstep… a boy named Harry Potter. But that was sixteen years ago, and we turned him away. The next morning, he was gone._

_Potter, you idiot, _whispered Dudley to the boy hiding behind the door, _I'm trying to help you here._

Harry just shrugged, as if to say _Why?_

_Because you __don't deserve this, even though you _are_ a bit of a freak. And- what does Mum mean when she said she turned you away?_

Harry shrugged again.

_Get out here and say something, Potter. __…Please. For you. I can handle myself and you can go live in that magic world of yours._

Harry nodded, determined.

_So there__'s no Harry Potter here?_ asked the CPS guy._ What about-_

"What are you talking about? I'm right here."

* * *

><p><span>Epilogue<span>

It had been five years since they had taken Dudley from his parents. Two years since they had ended his treatment, since it finally sunk in that neither Harry Potter or magic existed. One since Dudley stopped missing that part of him that always spoke back.

Perhaps he would put down all of Harry's nonexistent adventures on paper someday.

Then, one day, when Dudley was walking among the streets of London, he thought he saw the man his mind once projected to be his cousin. He had the same rumpled black hair and bright green eyes. He even had Harry's telltale lightning bolt scar.

"Harry?" said Dudley, tapping the man on the shoulder. "Harry Potter?"

"No," he replied, frowning. "John. John Doe. Do you know me?"

Ignoring that odd question, Dudley shook his head. "Sorry. You just looked like- like someone else. Like someone I knew. But you're not him. Sorry."

John grinned wryly. "That's fine. I hope you do find him someday, yeah?"

The two parted ways, never to see each other again. Deep inside Dudley, though, Harry smiled, knowing that if Dudley ever needed his protection, he would be there.

* * *

><p><strong>AN (3): For those who don't get it, Dudley has multiple personality disorder. Harry was created as a way to cope with the abuse and triggered by the baby that Dudley's parents turned away. As for the dementors... well, those are a figment of Dudley's mind, just like Harry and magic. It's like Dudley subconsciously knew what Harry knew, and therefore what the dementors were supposed to do, causing him to flashback when he felt the chill.**

**Let me know if there are any Britishims or plot holes I missed. Or if it should be rated up.  
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